1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:45AM, but that’s just because daylight savings made my body think it was 8:45AM. So it wasn’t technically sleeping in.
2. Diamonds or pearls? diamond-encrusted pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? JUNO (FOR THE SECOND TIME WOO)
4. What is your favorite TV show? My favorite “new” show is What Not To Wear on TLC. I want Clinton Kelly to be my gay dad. My old standby: The Simpsons, duh
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? oatmeal, hard-boiled egg, coffee, the still-beating heart of a young goat
6. What is your middle name? Victoriaaaaaaaaaaa
7. What food do you dislike? ground beef, hot dogs, chicken wings
8. What is your favorite CD at this moment? The Kooks or The Hush Sound – Like Vines
9. What kind of car do you drive? Cars are so polluting. That’s why I use a rickshaw pulled by a horde of immigrant children.
10. Favorite sandwich? First of all, its “sammitch”. Secondly, it will forever be turkey, provolone and yellow mustard on wheat. but I’m willing to admit a well-made falafel sandwich is close second
11. What characteristic do you despise? self-absorbed-ness-ity. And I really hate people that ingest too much silver and turn blue. Tacky.
12. Favorite item of clothing? my gray hoodie from elementary school that has been washed so many times that its suuuuper soft and has a giant gaping hole in the left armpit
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? At this point, probably New Zealand, just so I could see where they filmed BLACK SHEEP Apparently New Zealand’s slogan is: “There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand. AND THEY’RE PISSED OFF.”
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Free People and Lux, and whatever that awesomely cheap brand is at Target. I’m such a whore for cheap, mass-produced hipster-knockoff crap.
15. Where would you retire to? A lichen-covered cave
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? They’ve all been memorable, but my 23rd birthday involved a PINATA filled with CANDY and LITTLE PARACHUTING ARMY MEN. I woke up the next morning with Jolly Ranchers melted to my skin. So. awesome.
17. Favorite sport to watch? STEELERS football and KY-Jelly wrestling.
18. Furthest place you are sending this? Space
19. Person you expect to send it back first? No one. I’m so alone.
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night. It’s the blood-sucker in me. Also, have you noticed how loud birds are in the morning? What is their deal ?
23. What is your shoe size? 7…although I have wide, snorkeling-flipper shaped feet, so sometimes I have to bump it up to an 8
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? I am getting Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery at the end of April. YAAAAY!
26. What did you want to be when you were little? A writer, with some great white shark research on the side. I melded the two when I was eight, when I wrote and illustrated a very bloody and moving story about a boy who has his leg bitten off by a great white shark. The New Yorker called it, “Barely legible. Work on penmanship.”
27. How are you today? My teeth hurt. But thanks for asking, jackass.
28. What is your favorite candy? Twizzlers and gummi octopi
29. What is your favorite flower? Daisies, opium-flowers, any flower that doesn’t die when I touch it
30. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? July 18, 2008. Not only will it be my birthday, but I’ll be back in PA, at Penn State! (If you are in the area, you can find me face down under a barstool at The Phyrst)
32. What is your full name? The Black Tyrant Tai Victoria “Stumpy” Wischerth-McDonough
33. What are you listening to right now? The sound of birds twiterpating outside and a bulldozer.
34. What was the last thing you ate? my heart out
35. Do you wish on stars? no, but I do beat little kids up
36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? You know that flesh-colored crayon in the box that was always covered with gross specks of other crayons so that when you tried to draw with it the color was kind of fleshy-gray-brown and ruined your picture?
37. How is the weather right now? beautiful. I live in San Diego. MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH.
38. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Technically, a fax machine that kept calling our house phone. But honestly, I didn’t really mind. It was nice to have something that wanted to listen to all the details about my functional endoscopic sinus surgery. Hey, did I mention I’m getting functional endoscopic sinus surgery? I did? Oh.
39. Favorite soft drink? Diet Coke Plus. Because adding a lot vitamins makes up for the fact that its probably giving me cancer.
40. Favorite restaurant? The Pomegranate Grill … best Georgian/Hungarian/Russian food ever. Plus the service really makes you feel like your back in Communist Russia.
41. Hair color? Margarine-colored.
42. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Kid Sister Doll…until I saw Chucky at a sleepover. Then I was forced to remove her head and stuff under my bed, several feet away from her body to ensure she wouldn’t rise up in the night and kill me.
43. Summer or winter? By the look of my jaundiced, pasty skin you’d think winter. But trust me, I love nothing more than to slather myself in SPF 7000 and watch summer from behind my window.
44. Hugs or kisses? are we talking chocolate candy or public display of affection? either way, I like mine with almonds. Hi-oh!
45. Chocolate or Vanilla? dark, dark chocolate. and also: red, red wine. stay close to meeee. don’t let me beee alone…
46. Coffee or tea? Coffee.
47. Do you want your friends to email you back? fra….ends? what are those?
49. What is under your bed? linens, bloodthirsty dust bunnies, my unfinished memoirs, the head of Walter Matthau
50. What did you do last night? ate warm brownies and talked wedding stuff with my friend Helen.
51. What are you afraid of? I have this irrational fear that my furniture is going to rise up against me in revolt and I’ll regret all the times I didn’t put covers on the couch’s arms.
52. Salty or sweet? Well, thanks to my sinuses everything kind of tastes like wet styrofoam. But its ok, see # 25
53. How many keys on your keyring? only one. The key to your heart
54. How many years at your current job? 2 months. In a related story, I’m also 2 months rage-filled psychotic episode-free!
55. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
56. How many towns have you lived in? Somewhere around 8 or 9. And it’ll be 10 in July!
57. Do you make friends easily? again with this “friend” word. I don’t make friends easily, but I attract enemies like fat kids on a box of donut holes.
So that’s where Walter Matthau’s head went. I was wondering what happened to it.
Oh and thanks for reminding me of those stupid dolls. Now I’ll have the “My Buddy” song from the commercial stuck in my head for days.
My buddy and meeeeee!
Your had seems to manage to reflect more light then actually hits it.